“People are put into our paths according to who we can learn the most from at any given time. Like a giant universal computer, higher forces know exactly what combination of energies, in exactly what context, would do the most to further us”
I recently finished a powerful book which I started reading in the wake of the end of a 4 year relationship. Amongst other things, Marianne Williamson’s bestseller, “A Return To Love”, shares potent insights into the 3 types of romantic love:
You’ll find the below pearls of wisdom helpful if:
Despite some 12 years in relationships, it’s only now that I have clarity on love, its different forms, its wider purpose and its power to shape huge learning and growth. For even heartbreak, the antithesis of love, guides you lovingly towards better knowledge of yourself and greater awareness of your boundaries and needs, paving the way for the highest form of love – the one that lifts you and supports you above all others – divine love.
Yet despite that, the second kind of love – the transformational kind — has been my most significant experience of love yet — for that was the love that facilitated my waking up and helped me reconnect to myself, who I am and what I want.
The love that took me to the foothills of Chamonix, Mont-Blanc, to a freer lifestyle without rules and expectations, a place of sublime natural beauty which inspired my soul, gave me space to breathe and to explore worlds entirely different to fast-paced city living. It’s amazing what you discover with the simple luxury of time – time to feel, time to connect, time to explore your passions – fully and guiltlessly. Time with free spirits from paths less trodden who have mastered the art of living in the moment – and in doing so, one of the greatest secrets of happiness:
“Think less, feel more”
Dr Wayne Dyer
How apt that Mother Nature was the backdrop for a love which held me in its arms as I cried, revealed my unhealed places and loved me anyway. The love that soothed wounds carried from the first kind of love – the egotistical love – born of passion and lust but little care. This second kind of love was entirely different to the first kind. This love spoke directly, lovingly, straight from the heart. A love which taught me that you can say anything, almost anything, if you say it with love. You can even say things without love – and it remains.
A love that showed me how to be vulnerable again — what intimacy really is. A love that helped me grow into a fuller version of myself – that moulded me whole – and in doing so, laid the foundations for the highest form of love – the one that supports you to fulfil your highest purpose on Earth – the third kind of love – divine love. Poignant that we must sometimes lose the former to make way for the latter – like the shedding of a cocoon so we can fly high where we ultimately belong.
Stepping into a relationship with a Mowgli lookalike I met, rather symbolically, on a ski-trip just after I’d left law, was the easiest decision I’ve ever made and the greatest risk I ever took to the outside world. How funny that something that can seem like a wrong turn to others, the path less trodden, can feel so right to you — exactly where you need to be.
I remember asking myself, as I sometimes do when making big decisions, what I’d do if I had a year left to live. I felt a strong knowing that I’d choose to spend it with Christophe. I had a strong sense he’d be good for me, would bring me balance and would help me heal after two damaging relationships which left me battered and bruised.
The love that may’ve looked defiant, reactive and downright bizarre to others, was a love that felt heaven-sent to me. A union that would leave more conventional bystanders confused, bemused and a little concerned — until they felt my joy – and saw a spirit set free.
This kind of transformative love is captured beautifully by Elizabeth Gilbert, the bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life”.
And while the slightly scruffy, long-haired French boy who rented me my skis was anything but my mirror at face value, he was the soulmate who brought me to my own attention and helped me find my feet again — as emotionally intuitive as he was ruggedly wild.
I remember the overwhelming peace I felt in his presence – his serenity in nature – his appreciation of the simple things – his ease.
The way he lived his life in accordance with his values gave rise to an authenticity which was striking – invigorating like a cold wind, it woke me up – refreshing and refined in its simplicity, it was of singular note. He knew exactly who he was and what he wanted – he was his own man – totally unconcerned by societal expectations.
He was free, at one with nature — like a wild bird that carries you home.
Apt that I met him then just as I was moving out of the thought-led, high pressure legal sphere into the more heart-centred world of coaching which hinges on helping people live more authentic lives aligned with who they really are.
The law of attraction right there.
The Alpha female that could have been found herself a little girl once more, craving the simplicity and freedom of the wilderness, never-ending forests like fairy tales and a Heathcliff to balm her bruised soul. And she got just what she was seeking, without even realising it –
a wild-hearted boy who would guide her back to herself.
The Mowgli my parents were worried about me moving to the mountains with —
the boy people flippantly said ‘would be fun for a while’ —
the boy I felt an immediate sense of peace with —
the boy so at ease with his own emotions that he barely flinched as I sobbed on him on the third date (think streams of snot pouring down my face). I remember feeling shocked that someone who barely knew me could love me unconditionally like that. Being loved when you feel broken is a powerful thing.
And while I patched myself up through hard work and determination, he facilitated huge change and growth.
I’m convinced he was picked out and dropped into my path quite specifically, at that very moment, to help me heal and to teach me how to be vulnerable again, to show me that deep love is unconditional, imperfect, challenging and beautiful. That strong love remains through arguments, with highs that open hearts and lows that strengthen your faith in love that lasts a lifetime. And, most importantly, that true love is a partnership which embraces vulnerabilities and loves you anyway:
“Je t’aime quand-même”
So these are a few learnings I’d like to share with you. I hope they help you on your journey through dating, love and the highs and lows in between:
Because that’s what divine love is — the highest form of love which transcends all others and raises you up to be your fiery, beautiful, flawed, fullest self —
“The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice”
Sir Cecil Spring Rice
Clarity. Confidence. Possibility. Love. Creativity. Focus. Calm.
I’m Melanie Pritchard, recovering lawyer turned life coach, NLP practitioner and truth-teller with a passion for helping people be, do and have anything they want in life.
I feel blessed to help courage-fuelled go-getters design their lives in a way which brings them true happiness and I’m so excited to be with you on your path to success.
Let’s get to know each other a bit better…
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“Melanie’s coaching really impressed me. She helped me drill down into my goal, empowering me to carve a way forward in no time at all. I was really surprised by how much we covered during my session – this left me with a real sense of progression. Melanie is certainly gifted in her ﬁeld”.
ALEXANDRA INTERIOR DESIGNER | LONDON
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