People sometimes assume that coaches have it all sorted.. this ain’t so..
So here are a few confessions that may surprise you..
* I’ve stood in front of boardrooms of people doing two day mental health workshops in states of real heartache before – they probably had no idea. It’s hard ‘performing’ when you feel like sh*t but also strangely healing when it involves subjects that heal and educate others.
* Earlier in my career, I dated someone I was working for. The only relationship I regret, not so much cos I worked with him but because it was a horrible run in with narcissism before I was wise enough to spot it n run a mile. Anyone who’s been there knows how charming and manipulative that can present as but in good news, I look back and can see my body was screaming, RUN!
* Mr P, the calmest, most brilliant of men once said he’d have no problem having a man killed who hurt my twin or I. There should probably be a couple banged up for life now! Lucky escape to the (interestingly two) bad legal eggs I dated.
* Off the back of two head f*ck relationships, I had a pretty negative inner voice. I recall looking in the mirror post argument with a delightfully healing French man I was living with and calling myself a piece of shit. Ouch. Thankfully, those days are gone. He was integral to healing and true self-discovery. Amazing how those who are truly at ease in their skin heal others. I sobbed on him on date two and he lovingly replied, ‘I love it when you speak from zee art’, ‘zee last guy sounds like a douche’ and took me out for lunch the next day. Contrast can be a beautiful thing!
* What helped that upward trajectory was reading a lot and going into coaching and learning simple tools for growth and connection to the (true) self. Starting a blog and writing ‘from zee art’ was also v healing. Readers maybe thought I was a wise owl but it was basically live journaling around many lessons I was learning!
* Moving to Madrid and Chamonix were huge awakenings for me post law. The body was screaming for lashings of tapas, sangria and fun. It was an insanely joyful time teaching handsome lawyers and Dyson employees business English (by then I’d learnt not to mix business with pleasure!) I never would’ve chosen to live in Chamonix was it not for a French boy but it set my soul alight in ways that surprised me. There aren’t words for that scale of beauty and the liberation of being surrounded by free-thinking free spirits connected to who they truly are. I can’t imagine living anywhere without nature now.
* As tots, Emma and I were extremely cheeky but she was the ultimate ring leader. We once went into a bath shop with signs everywhere saying ‘do not touch’. You know where this is going.. so I pressed an irresistibly squidgey button and the bath started filling with water. We were frogmarched outta there by our mum (who is scary when angry!) with the threat of an aborted trip to Windsor Waves Pool if the guilty party didn’t confess. My mum looked at Emma straight in the eyes and said ‘Emma, we all know it was you’ and Emma confessed to a crime she didn’t commit cos she was so desperate to go down the water slides!
* Workshops for prisoners have been amongst the most enjoyable. They’re bored and hungry to learn and very grateful and some of them were the ultimate cheeky bad boys I no doubt would’ve fallen for in a bar. Just as well they were locked up!
* Maudie, a wonderfully zany friend from Chamonix, once made me strip naked in a field for a photo shoot in the wilds of Italy ‘cos the light was so good’. I use her photos on my website to this day (not that one!), including the photo above cos they truly capture my soul. Amazing how a gifted photographer puts their subjects at ease and brings out their spark. Which links to my second final point…
* I love all sorts of people but I have a soft spot for those who lose themselves in laughter and throw their heads back gaffawing with wild abandon and ugly giggling. Why I love spending time with my nephew, Felix, so much. He’s the height of silliness and frankly, makes many adults seem like cardboard. Long live those with a strong sense of the ridiculous!
* An Irish banking partner I sat with as a legal trainee once said I had ‘gypsy soul’. I didn’t really know what he meant, but turns out he was right.
